Infidelity is often the symptom of a much bigger problem

You might think to yourself there’s no excuse for cheating. And you’d be correct. But it’s also important to remember that people rarely commit infidelity for no reason at all.

See, it’s often the symptom of a much bigger problem in your relationship. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable or insecure. But we all know that it’s true.

Over the years, I’ve made my fair share of mistakes. Everyone has. But instead of wishing for the past to be different, I’ve tried to learn from it, so I can prevent myself from making the same errors in the future.

So from personal experience, below are several reasons why someone may cheat in a relationship. Because if you want to prevent a breakup caused infidelity, you need to know why it happens in the first place.

1. They Feel Neglected.

One of the greatest truths of life is that we want to spend time with people that genuinely care about us. So if your partner thinks they’re not being appreciated, they may try to feel loved by someone else.

For example, I used to spend a lot of my day working & talking to clients on the phone for several hours. But consequently, I wasn’t able to spend as much time with my partner as she wanted.

Don’t get me wrong: I wasn’t trying to be an asshole. But when I couldn’t give her enough attention, she naturally started talking to other people to fill an emotional void. I don’t blame her.

If you want to prevent cheating, you need to be honest when talking to your partner. Because if one of you feels neglected, it’s vital to work together and do whatever it takes to prevent those thoughts from occurring in the future.

Try not to judge each other or wish for any problems to disappear. Instead, recognize the importance of listening to each other, so you can quickly resolve any issues that may arise in your relationship. Epictetus said it best:

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

2. They Aren’t Sexually Satisfied.

This may be a hard pill for you to swallow. But if you’re unable to fulfill your partner’s sexual needs, the probability of infidelity happening in a relationship is much higher.

After all, sex is a great way to build trust and maintain an intimate bond with each other. So when you’re consistently unable to meet their expectations in the bedroom, they’ll begin to search for someone who can.

If you want to prevent infidelity in your relationship, it’s a good idea to speak with your partner about each other’s sexual desires. For example, you might want to discuss how many times a week you have sex, and anything else that’s important to either of you.

Because when you both feel sexually satisfied, it’s easier to focus on everything that’s going well in your relationship, instead of what isn’t.

3. They Feel Angry.

I’ve discovered that anger is a powerful motivator for someone to commit infidelity. For example, one of my ex-girlfriends decided to cheat after an argument, because she wanted to get back at me for hurting her feelings.

“They hurt me, so now I’ll hurt them” is a common thought that many of us experience. But if you don’t learn to control your emotions when you’re upset, you’ll quickly discover that they become in control of you. In other words, unrestrained anger can easily make us irrational and do things we may later regret.

So if you want to prevent infidelity from happening, you need to ensure that you’re both capable of controlling your emotions during an argument. In the words of the Roman Philosopher, Seneca:

“Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.”

Infidelity often happens as a consequence of unresolved problems within a relationship. So if you want to prevent it from happening, frequently communicating with your partner is an excellent place to start.

So every day, ask yourself: “What can I do right now to fix any unresolved problems that may negatively affect my relationship?”

That’s all you need to do.